The Weight of Realization

“Sometimes you put walls up not to keep people out, but to see who cares enough to break them down.”

I heard this quote and it touched a place deep inside of me. Since my recovery I realized how much I have been the person that has always made the effort, gone the extra mile or carried the weight in relationships. It has been a process of self discovery to determine whether my intentions were to control or to advert rejection. I believe everyone at their deepest core desires to be loved so deeply that if they didn't have the energy to make the journey, someone would come to carry them. I think even in my darkest moments, I never laid down along the path no matter how depleted and weary because I feared that no one would make the journey to carry me. I had teachers who have taught me how to pack for the trip, how to cope with the challenges on the path, how to rely on my spiritual strength to give me a boost when I was absolutely uncertain but I never had anyone come get me! This statement isn't to solicit sympathy, it is simply a realization. I don't know that I would ever need anyone to come to get me on the journey... but God I would love to know that someone would.